It’s not cold yet…

60 Above Zero
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in South Dakota plant their gardens.

50 Above Zero
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Students in South Dakota sunbathe.

40 Above Zero
Italian and English cars won’t start.
Residents of South Dakota drive with their windows down.

32 Above Zero
Distilled water freezes.
The water in the Missouri gets thicker.

20 Above Zero
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and wool hats.
People in South Dakota throw on a flannel shirt.

15 Above Zero
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in South Dakota have the last cookout before it gets cold.

Zero
People in Miami all die.
People in South Dakota close the windows.

10 Below Zero
Californians fly to Mexico.
People in South Dakota get out their winter coats.

25 Below Zero
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in South Dakota are selling cookies door to door.

40 Below Zero
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in South Dakota let their dogs sleep indoors.

100 Below Zero
Santa Clause abandons the North Pole.
People in South Dakota go ice fishing.

460 Below Zero
All atomic motion stops—absolute zero on the Kelvin Scale.
People in South Dakota are prone to ask..”Cold ‘nuff for ya?”

500 Below Zero
Hell freezes over.
South Dakota public schools open but running two hours late.